Casino Gambling Jokes
A land-based casinois the best place for gamblers to entertain themselves during theirleisure. When you visit a casino, you get more than just the thrillof gambling. You meet new people, share life experiences and listento amazing gambling jokes. The fun in a landbased casino is far morethan the fun you enjoy when you’re using an online casino exceptyou’re naturally an introvert. To enjoy your visit to the casino, youhave to contribute as much as you collect. So, don’t just listen toconversations, contribute and tell jokes too. If you don’t know anyinteresting gambling jokes, all you have to do is learn some. Thereare different types of gambling jokes. Some are for poker games, someare for card games, some are for slot machine games and some are forgambling in general. There are even gambling puns and wordplay thatwould blow your mind or the mind of players away.
We would be happy to hear if you would like a part two of gambling jokes. One thing that is no joke, though, is our ranking of the best online casinos in the UK. Make sure to check it out! We did our best to help you be the star of the party and loaded you with gambling jokes and puns everyone would love and crack a chuckle. A blondie goes to the casino A beautiful blonde girl goes to the casino with all her cash and sits at the roulette desk. She goes to the clerk and asks if she can play being nude. The amused clerk asked, 'This is an open club and you are free to do anything you want but why would you do something like this?' A collection of gambling jokes and gambling puns. Enjoy these hilarious and funny gambling jokes. We've collected the best of gambling jokes and puns just for you. Jokes have a laugh Movies best Casino movies Famous Gamblers some great stories and legends Facts and Records interesting casino trivia Gambling Quotes also proverbs and sayings Casino Domain Names Buy Casino Names Buy This Name Contact Us Casinos.Net Home. As writers who love all things gambling, we thoroughly enjoy a quality casino pun. We have both written and come across a great number of different gambling jokes. Some are certainly funnier than others, we’ve read all sorts of them, everything from the silly jokes that just hit the funny spot to the clever and witty gambling jokes that take.
Top 7 Best GamblingJokes
1. The Blonde WhoWon a Motorhome
One day, a blondelady walked into a restaurant to buy a cup of coffee. While drinkingthe coffee, she noticed a peel and win a sticker. As she peels itoff, she starts screaming “I have won a motor home” overand over again. One of the waitresses in the restaurant tells herit’s impossible for her to win a motorhome because the highest prizethey offer in the restaurant is a free plate of food for lunch. Theblonde lady insists that the prize on the sticker is a motorhomedespite what the waitress says. The noise attracts the manager whorepeats the same thing the waitress said. In a bid to convince themanager that what she won is a motor home, she hands the ticket overto the manager who takes one look at it and screams “W I N A BA”.
2. The Man WhoPlayed Poker With A Dog
This joke is about aman who goes into a bar and finds a dog playing poker. As soon as hesaw the dog, he was surprised and curious at the same time. Since healso wanted to play, he went to the table and sat down with otherplayers. All the players didn’t act funny like there was anythingunusual on the table. As the man sat down, the dealer shared the cardfor everyone on the table including the dog. The dog did everything ahuman would do when cards are dealt to them. The man could no longerkeep his curiosity to himself anymore so he said; “I can notbelieve that this dog is playing poker. He has to be the smartest dogin the entire world”. In response one of the players said; “heis not so smart, he wags his tail each time he is dealt a good hand”.
3. The Mom Who TriedTo Stop Her Son From Gambling
A mother who isworried about her son’s gambling habits goes to the headmaster of hisschool to complain about the issue. The mom tells the headmaster thatshe doesn’t know where her son got the gambling habit from but shewould love it if the headmaster can help with the issue. Theheadmaster agreed to help the boy. The following day, the headmastercalled the boy’s mother and told her that he has cured the boy’sgambling problem. When the mother asked him how the headmasterreplied; “He placed a $5 bet that my bead is false. I permittedhim to pull it to test his theory. After he pulled it and confirmedthat it was not artificial, he lost the bet and had to pay me the $5.I believe he has learned one or two lessons.” In response, themother said “No, he’s not going to learn any lesson. Yesterdayhe placed a $10 bet with me that you would give him permission topull your beard before the end of the week.”
4. Jack Gambles InVagas
During a weekendgetaway in Las Vegas, Jack lost all his money gambling. Things wereso bad that he had to borrow money from another player just to usethe toilet. However, when he got to the toilet, the stall was open sohe didn’t need to use the money for the toilet. He decided to use themoney the other player gave him to play a slot game instead of usingthe toilet. He won some cash. After winning, he took the money to theblackjack table were his luck increased and he won $5 million.Following his big break, he became a local celebrity who was invitedto give lectures from time to time. Each time he went for a lecture,he would talk about how he is looking forward to meeting the man whohelped him win his fortune. He said he intends to share his fortunewith the man. One faithful day, during the lecture, someone in theaudience stood up and said: “I am the one that gave you thecoin”. In reply, the man said “You are not the one I amlooking for. I am looking for the man that left the stall open.”
5. The Boy WhoSwallowed a Quarter
During a game in thecasino one faithful day, a man started screaming “My child ischoking! Help, he swallowed a quarter! Somebody, please help him! Asexpected, one of the players in the casino quickly offered to helpbecause he has ample experience with things like these. The manquietly put his arms around the boy’s tummy and squeezed until thequarter came out. After that, he walked quietly back to his seatwithout saying a word. The relieved and grateful father asked theman; “Thank you so much, are you a paramedic? In reply, the mansaid, “No, I am not, I work for the IRS”.
6. Should We Tip theDealer?
One day in a casino,a player who had a thirteen count hand was arguing with a blackjackdealer. The argument was about tipping. The dealer said it wasimportant for the players to tip the dealers whenever they are dealtgood cards. The player had the opposite opinion. He said that thedealer should not be tipped because they have no control over thecards that are given to the player, whether it is good or bad. Tocounter the payer, the dealer said “do you tip the waiter whenyou eat out? The player said yes. In response, the dealer said “Iserve you cards just like the waiter serves you food. So you have totip me too”. To wrap it up, the player said “okay, but thewaiter always gives me what I want. So, give me an eight.”
7. The Drunk BlondeWho Gambles Naked
One day, a drugblonde from Ireland walked into a casino and placed a bet of $20,000on a single game. Before the dice were rolled, she said to the otherplayers “I hope you guys don’t mind but I usually feel luckywhen I play completely naked”. Without waiting for anyone torespond, she strips naked and rolls the dice. While the dice arerolling, she screamed: “Oh baby, Mama needs some new clothes”.As soon as the dice stopped rolling, she screamed in excitementbecause she won. She hugged the dealers while she was still naked.After that, she wore her clothes, packed all her earnings and leftthe casino. When she stepped out, the dealers stared at each othercluelessly until one of them asked: “what exactly did she justroll?” Another dealer replied, “I have no idea, I thoughtyou were paying attention?”
These are just a fewof the most common gambling jokes. You can tap into your creativejuices and come up with great gambling jokes yourself. Don’t feel badif others don’t find your jokes funny. Just keep trying and you willget there eventually.
Rodney Dangerfield joined Gamblers Anonymous. They gave him three-to-one he wouldn't make it.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the lottery!'
Martha replies, 'Should I pack for warm weather or cold?'
The man responds, 'I don't care. Just get out!'
Internet Casino Gambling
A blonde is in Vegas vacationing with her friends. She walks to a candy machine and puts in two coins. She turns the knob and a candy bar falls out.
She picks up the candy bar and puts it in her pocket. Then she puts two more coins into the slot and turns the knob; again a candy bar falls out and she puts it in her pocket.
The blonde smiles, puts two more coins into the machine and again turns the knob, producing yet another candy bar.
A man has been watching from a short distance away and walks up to the blonde. He says, `Excuse me, miss, what are you doing?`
The blonde replies, 'Duh! I'm winning here!'
A Trip to Las Vegas
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. 'Where are you going?' demands the surprised husband. 'To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!' The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. 'What do you think you are doing?' she screamed. 'I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!'
Mary Lou
Casino Gambling Jokes
A man was quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan. 'What was that for?' he says. 'That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it', she replies. 'Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on', he explains. She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house. Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold. When he comes to, he says, 'What the hell was that for?' 'Your horse phoned.'